If there’s one thing you need to create even more satisfaction in bed, it’s a toy box – the intimate kind.
Why? Because feeling satisfied involves understanding your sexual likes and dislikes, and how to get more of what you want and less of what you don’t want. The same applies if you want to know how to satisfy a partner. And, using sex toys plays an important role every step of the way.
As a certified clinical sexuality coach who’s worked in the adult goods industry, I’ve seen, tested and reviewed the good, the bad and the ugly, as well as the confusing, the extreme and the hilarious.
Now, I’m using my experience to give you my ‘Beginner’s guide to sex toys so you can have a collection with exactly what you need.
Top 10 sex toy categories
If you’re new to sex toys, or haven’t added to your collection in a while, browsing an adult store can be overwhelming given the huge number of product categories and options within them.
So, which are the main types of toys you should know? Here are my top 10 sex toy categories:
- Vibrators
- Dildos
- Kegel exercisers
- BDSM gear
- Cock rings
- Strap ons
- Anal toys
- Masturbators
- Penis pumps
- Lubricants*
*Okay, so technically lubricants are not a ‘toy’, but you should never use one without it (except, perhaps, for certain types of BDSM gear).
1. Vibrators
In case the name isn’t a giveaway, vibrators are sex toys that vibrate. They contain one or more motors that deliver anything from light and buzzy through to deep and rumbly vibrations.
Vibrators can be designed to stimulate internal or external erogenous zones, and are available in a wide range of shapes, sizes and materials to target just about any hotspot pleasurably and safely. Indeed, vibrators can be used by any consenting adult however they identify in terms of sex, gender or sexuality, and in a range of scenarios alone or with company.
When choosing a vibrator one of the main considerations is where on the body you would like to use it, because while some are multi-purpose, others are designed for only a specific area. Generally, bullet and wand vibrators are for external use, classic, g-spot and anal vibrators can be inserted, and rabbits offer simultaneous internal and external stimulation.
To find out the top 10 vibrator sub-categories, read the Beginner’s guide to vibrators.
2. Dildos
Dildos are ideal for adults who want a realistic experience because they traditionally look and feel like an actual penis. Some are even moulded from a real person so you know you’re getting an anatomically correct sex toy. Often confused with dongs, dildos have a base, usually a pair of testicles, whereas dongs do not – they comprise a head and shaft only.
3. Kegel exercisers
Kegel exercisers are designed to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles with correct and frequent use over time (that’s if you have a vagina; if not, there are other pelvic floor workouts you can do).
Kegel exercisers are available in a range of sizes, shapes and weights, and can be vibrating or static. Kegel balls with a retrieval loop are one of the most basic exercisers available, while more sophisticated options come with Bluetooth technology and smartphone apps to help you perform your workout properly and progress its intensity and your muscular strength over time.
4. BDSM gear
This one can be a mouthful – literally! So, what exactly does ‘BDSM’ stand for? Well, it’s bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. Simply put, BDSM covers a wide range of scenarios that provide opportunities for consenting adults to explore kinks, fetishes, sensory play and power dynamics in a safe, controlled space. Bondage toys facilitate that fun.
‘Fun?! I thought BDSM was about pain.’ While the terms ‘pleasure’ and ‘pain’ are often used in BDSM talk, adults in these scenarios do not have to experience pain – in fact, no one does. It’s fine if you or your partner want to though, provided that you’ve set mutually agreed upon rules before you start.
What kind of gear is involved in BDSM scenarios? Beginners can start with blindfolds, wrist or ankle cuffs, bed restraints, ticklers and paddles. You may even like to try nipple stimulation using suckers, clips and clamps.
As you progress to intermediate and advanced levels, try ball gags to silence you (hence the mouthful reference), spreader bars to keep your legs or arms apart, whips, crops and floggers for impact play, and sex swings and slings for getting into creative or otherwise hard-to-achieve positions.
5. Cock rings
Cock rings are just like what they sound – a ring for a cock. The most basic cock rings resemble a donut that is worn at the base of the penis, in front of or behind the testicles, to provide erection support during solo masturbation or partnered sex. The ring should have a firm, comfortable fit that restricts blood flow from the penis, resulting in harder, prolonged erections.
Some cock rings have special features that provide additional partner pleasure during sex. Often termed ‘couple’s rings’, these cock rings can have, for example, elongated designs, textured surfaces or vibration settings to further stimulate the wearer’s partner upon contact. Indeed, the most common reason for using a couple’s ring is to allow for allow for hands-free clitoral stimulation during penis-in-vagina sex.
6. Strap ons
Strap ons are dildos worn to penetrate a consenting partner, whomever and however that may be. Traditionally, strap ons comprise a harness and compatible dildo. An O-ring on the front of the harness keeps the dildo in place. The dildos can be solid or hollow, so that it can be worn like a sleeve over a penis.
By contrast, strapless strap ons are more for wearers with a vagina and have no harness. Strapless strap ons comprise a shorter dildo or ‘bulb’ at one end, which the wearer slips inside their vagina and holds in place using their pelvic floor muscles. Meanwhile, a longer dildo at the other end is used to penetrate the consenting partner. Strapless strap ons can be static or vibrating and include additional features such as textured surfaces, remote controls, and even inflation.
7. Anal toys
Anal toys are sex toys designed to be safely inserted in the anus, however the user identifies in terms of sex, gender or sexuality. Butt plugs are the most popular anal toy, but there are also anal balls, beads, dildos, hooks, vibrators, prostate massagers and more. What all anal toys have in common is a wide base, handle or retrieval loop to prevent the toy from slipping too far in the anal canal to the point it cannot be removed and causes serious harm. So, never use a toy anally if it is not designed for that purpose!
Anal toys are available in a wide range of sizes, shapes, weights, and materials to suit different preferences and experience levels. Anal toys can be motor-powered to offer more sensations, such as vibration, rotation, rimming, pulsation, thumping, thrusting and inflation. Whichever anal toy you choose always use a high-quality anal lubricant compatible with your toy’s materials for increased safety, comfort and pleasure.
8. Masturbators
Masturbators are toys designed to be penetrated by a penis. Some of these sex toys are also known as ‘strokers’ if they involve the stroking motion of manual masturbation.
Masturbators come a wide range of styles, shapes, sizes and materials catering to every need and desire imaginable. They can be static or motor-powered, offering sensations such as vibration, rotation, sucking, milking, thrusting and warming. There is everything from pocket-sized penetrable eggs and ‘real-feel’ sleeves with oral, vaginal or anal openings moulded from porn stars all the way to life-sized, posable sex dolls and app-controlled devices that can even offer a virtual reality experience.
9. Penis pumps
Penis pumps are intended to provide erection support and, with regular use over time, increase penis length and/or width. The basic steps are to place the cylindrical tube over the penis then use the electric or hand pump to create a vacuum that pulls blood into the penis, creating an erection. The pump can then be removed, and the user can engage in foreplay or sex, or leave it at that! Penis pumps are usually pneumatic, relying on changes in air pressure in the tube, but hydraulic designs are available and these involving filling the tube the with water.
10. Lubricants
High-quality lubricant is a must when using most sex toys, either externally or internally – and that’s a rule everyone should follow!
Sure, you can use sex toys without lube, but incorporating one that is compatible with your toy’s materials into your session will reduce friction and increase comfort, sensation and pleasure. Without lubricant, the dry toy surface can create irritate delicate cell layers and lead to pain and micro tears, even if you think you are wet enough.
Water-based lubricant is compatible with most sex toy materials, and special formulations are available for anal use. Anal lubricants tend to be thicker to provide more cushioning to the anus, which has no natural lubrication.
Toy love: clean, maintain and store
If you love your sex toys then they will love you back! So, here’s my toy love advice.
Always clean your sex toys before and after every use for optimal hygiene. For most sex toys, just spray the cleaner onto your toy, leave it for a few minutes, and rinse off. If your toy is waterproof, you can also wash it with mild soap and warm water.
Then, allow your sex toy to air dry or pat it down with a clean lint-free cloth. Toys made from ‘real-feel’ materials should be dusted with talc-free, cornflour-based renewer powder after washing to maintain their quality.
Always store your clean, dry sex toys in a cool, dark and safe place without contact to other toys. But for how long will you be able to keep yourself away from them?
For more information about toy care, read How To Clean Sex Toys and How To Store Sex Toys.
Credits
Main photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash